just who.

days ago someone asked me the question "who is jessie?"
and it got me thinking.
it's so often that i ask the ambiguous question of others, but what would i say when confronted with the query myself, from the other side? my brain stuttered a little at the time, and i produced some sort of half-hearted answer that questioned little and presented only a glimpse of the truth.
now however, after mulling over it a few days, i've been able to piece something together.
and so it goes, or at least, i'll touch the surface.

first and foremost, i consider myself an idealist. this definition is pretty much on par with the way i am - "a person who holds fancies in mind".
i like to see the world my way. i recognise all the potential and wonder around me, but sometimes i see more ideals than practicalities. i am a dreamer.

thats not to say i'm not a realist. when i need to, i can wipe away pretense and veils to see what is really there. i am good at figuring out people and understanding their motives. i crave the truth more than anything. sometimes i don't even care about whether it's something i want to hear. just to know it, to hold it in the palm of my hand, is worth everything to me.

i long to create. i feel stifled when the opportunity is taken away from me. i've opened a doorway to my soul with my writing, and now it's something i can't imagine being without. the keys to that doorway are things and people that inspire me, move me, make me think about things in a different light. in turn, i like to be those things to other people.
and yet there are still times when i feel my intelligence is put to waste.

i will give other people everything. i'll love unconditionally without thought. if you're worthy of my affections, i'll let you into my soul, and turn your world upside down, inside out. i let myself be swept up in the moment, and give into my whims whenever i can. i won't ever stop feeling.

i'm happy. i'm quirky. i'm bubbly. i'm temperamental. i'm incendiary. i'm outlandish. i'm a perfectionist. i'm caring. i'm tempestuous. i'm reflective.
i'm a maze of brambles and tulips.

i worry. i forgive. i lean. i preen. i manifest. i conjure. i stress. i jump. i think. i release.
i love, i don't hate.

so, there is your answer. a scratch on a surface.
elsewise, explore and implore away.