step into the light.

written saturday may 3.

life is so much more intricate than you sometimes realise.
winding through the tunnels of the world, i have glimpsed some incredible, and terrible things.

sometimes when you are so consumed within something, it is hard to see it for what it really is. take a step back, and you see the truth.
i honestly think that i have learnt more about life, and emotions, and myself in this last month than i ever have before. i have been given a fresh start, a new chance, to construct the world i want to live in, and the life i want to lead.

i believe we all have a path that is decided, mapped out, before it unravels. i believe everything will happen for a reason, and you can't really control situations, as you always do what you are supposed to do, what has already been predicted.

the best way to live is without regret, and that is exactly how i feel right now. i wouldn't change anything that has happened. though i can't help but love and care, i don't want my past as my future, and realising that has been the most empowering thing that has ever happened to me. for the first time in my life i can see things, and people, for what they really are. i can see through the fakeness that has come to consume so many of those around me, and understand what i could not understand before.
i don't hate. i will not harbour any negativity. at the end of the day, if that is the part that someone else wants to play, so be it. i will be left knowing that i have been the best person that i can be, and that is ultimately fulfilling.

is this happiness? i am not sure. it is definitely contentment, and certainty. things feel so right for me just where i am at the moment. i can look back, and smile, and not want what used to be at all.
the happiness is sure to come soon enough. but even if perfection never manifests itself for me, these bursts of amazement, this rapturous feeling, this newfound knowledge, will be more than enough.

it all fits. just like a puzzle. it's not complete, no, but with each piece it becomes greater and wiser and more colourful.

it just all works.